


The Truth About Destiny

by Venivincere



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-04
Updated: 2012-05-04
Packaged: 2017-11-04 19:43:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/397518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venivincere/pseuds/Venivincere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgana thinks she's got the secret to making Camelot her own, but the truth upholds a greater destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth About Destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cat_sdgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat_sdgirl/gifts).



> Cat_sdgirl I tried hard to fit in all that you liked and keep out all that you didn't; I hope I managed OK. Many thanks to Tamaabi for prereading and hand-holding.

When Merlin woke, he had just enough time to realise three things: that he hadn't actually gone to bed or anything, that his wrists screamed with pain, and that this wasn't his room, so why was--, and there was Morgana, pacing in front of him and the whole scene clicked into place.

"Not again?" he asked, but circumstances damned all but the tiniest trickle of hope. He found the floor with his feet and took the weight off his wrists. His arms were numb and beginning to prickle painfully.

"Apparently yes," said Morgana, circling him, eyeing him with a distinctly unsavoury air. "Yet again you've managed to help Arthur escape, at the risk of your own life. I am tired of trying to guess why. You will tell me, or I will _make_ you tell me."

"Yes, well, dreams are important, aren't they?" said Merlin, hoping for a quick death. However, the only thing the spell she screamed at him a moment later did was blow his hair back and deposit a rime of grit on his lips. He had no idea what she'd cast; it wasn't a spell he was familiar with. But he didn't feel any different than he usually did. Maybe it misfired?

"This is the last time I will ask you," said Morgana, coming up close to his face and staring into his eyes with -- was that glee? Merlin began to worry that the spell hadn't actually misfired at all, that he was about to undergo some new, hellish torture.

"You are no knight. Servants are not required to make any oaths. Yet time and again, you risk your own life to protect Arthur's." Her eyes flashed gold, and Merlin felt something take root in a part of his body he'd never before known to exist. It tugged. " _Why do you do it?_ "

The tugging turned sharp, and before he knew what was happening, something essential broke loose inside him and spilled out of his mouth without his permission. "Because I believe in the united and peaceful Albion that Arthur will bring about," he said, then clamped his mouth shut. But the tugging wasn't finished yet, and in addition to losing his thoughts, it yanked at his jaws. Eventually, they opened. "Be-- because I love him!"

Merlin clamped his lips together again, but if anything, the tugging was stronger. It seemed determined to drag out, kicking and screaming, all of Merlin's truths. It only took another moment or two until his mouth burst open again and he practically shouted in her face, "Because I'm _in love with_ him!"

Morgana breathed in, sharp. Merlin didn't think he'd ever before seen that particular combination of disgust, horrified fascination and glee on anyone's face before. He tried very hard to concentrate on how unbecoming that was, but in the end, the redirection failed, and all the feelings he had carefully tarred up in his heart over the years came tumbling out, begging examination.

"Well, well, _well!_ Yet again, you've managed to surprise me. I never _imagined_ \-- I wonder what that -- that serving girl will think when she finds out. I wonder what Arthur will think!" She laughed, a mean, ugly sound. "I suppose we'll find out, won't we?"

::-------------------::

The next time Merlin woke, he was at the edge of the wood behind the castle and the sky was just turning grey with pre-dawn light. He would be due in Arthur's chambers shortly, with his breakfast. He had a sinking feeling about going anywhere near anyone he cared even the least little bit about in his current state, but he feared even more not showing up on time. Arthur would yell, and probably try and throw something, if he were angry enough, and certainly ask all sorts of questions Merlin wouldn't want to answer.

He arrived on time at Arthur's chambers with breakfast piping hot, and when Arthur, arm slung over the edge of the bed and face half-buried in his pillow slurred, "You had to pick _today_ to be on time? The day after a _feast_?" Merlin thanked all that was holy that the honest answer was short.

"Yes, sire."

"Very well, then."

A hung-over Arthur was a quiet Arthur, as long as Merlin kept his mouth shut, too, and so he managed to escape any more questions from Arthur the rest of the morning, aside from, "Wine all around, Merlin?" when Council was nearly at an end.

"My Lord," said Sir Leon, setting his goblet on the table, "retaining the forces already on our Northern border will continue to prevent raiding from the North, but if we do not add a guard in the Forest of Ascetir, it is only a matter of time before the Earls in Cenred's old kingdom tire of fighting each other and attempt to gain a foothold in our lands."

"Yet we do not have enough men to patrol both borders," said Arthur. "And if we cannot control our borders, we will appear weak, and that will surely open us up to more serious threats to the kingdom. What do you propose we do?"

"We could reduce the numbers of men on our Northern border, and stagger the patrols, and put the remaining men to patrolling the forest," said Gwaine.

"But that would mean lengthening the time between patrols," said Elyan, "and we know from experience that we must catch them early before they have a chance to establish themselves."

"And it would still leave us without enough men in the forest," said Percy.

"I expect after harvest we will see more men arriving for training and induction into the knighthood," said Arthur, "but until that time, we will have to find a solution to our problem that allows us to do the job with the resources we have at hand. Does anyone else have any thoughts?"

Tug. "So far, all of the raiding has occurred during the day, hasn't it?" Merlin blurted. "You have patrols running day and night. Half the men patrolling, half back at camp. Why not make do with half that lot and only patrol during the day? All the men out, then all the men back. The rest of the men can be assigned to Ascetir Forest, then all your borders will be covered."

Arthur stared at Merlin. "And what happens when that first night raid is successful? We would have no warning until they were over the ridges or halfway through the forest."

"Sire, they won't attack at night. They can't, not without light. The ridges are difficult enough to cross during the day, and the forest well-nigh impossible in the dark, for those who are unfamiliar with it. You could station your men on the northern border just this side of the ridge, here," he pointed to a spot on the map, "so their camp fires will not be seen in the dark, but it's close enough so that your camp night guard can send a couple men to watch at the top of the ridge. You'll have a couple less men guarding the camp, but they can come back and warn you if the raiders are foolish enough to make an attempt. Same at the forest. Station your men far enough in that their fires won't be seen, but post sentinels with the night guard at the forest's edge."

Arthur thought about this for a moment and said, "Merlin's plan is a good one. We will remove the night guard at the northern border to the Forest of Ascetir."

He turned to Merlin. "You're not such an idiot after all, Merlin."

The tugging was instant and painful, and before he could even try to clamp down on it, Merlin was opening his mouth. "No, I'm actually pretty quick most of the time, but I do get blinded by my desires and how I think our destiny should unfold, which is probably why you think I'm an idiot most of the time and only very rarely wise."

Every head in the room swiveled around and stared at Merlin. He felt his face sear with the ferocity of his blush.

Arthur paused and gave Merlin a strange look, his eyes full of glitter. "Yes, well, we can talk about that later, _Mer_ lin," said Arthur, and to Merlin's great relief the King looked more amused than anything. "In the meantime, Sir Leon, take the men and see to arms for the force heading out, and report back to me this afternoon before the evening meal."

"Very well, Sire."

Merlin's face still held a residual burn when the room was finally empty of everyone but Merlin and the King. "I'm sorry, Sire, for speaking out of turn. I don't know what came over me."

Except he very well _did_ know what came over him, and the the tugging in his throat became so strong he began to choke.

"Merlin?" Arthur rose and thumped him on the back where he stood, hunched over the edge of the table. Which would have been fine, if Arthur hadn't been wearing greaves. The pain was distracting, but not distracting enough to keep Merlin from realising that the only way he was going to stop choking was to spit out what was very much the truth of the matter, which was, "Actually, I do know what came over me. Last night I was captured by Morgana and she placed a spell on me. At first I hadn't thought it worked, but then she asked me questions and the truth poured right out of me without my consent."

During this little speech Arthur's eyes got wider and angrier and by the end Merlin was trembling and gasping. But at least his throat didn't feel as though it were about to exit his mouth.

"I'll kill her," breathed Arthur.

Tug. "Happy to help with that, Arthur, any time. I have too many secrets I need to keep from you and maybe if she's dead, the spell she cast will lift. Or maybe Gaius and I can find a cure for it. Though honestly, all his cures have their own horrors. I swear all his books on magical maladies were written by sadists." _Damn._ Merlin wondered if he looked as green as he felt. He swallowed the bile rising in his throat. By all the gods.... In terror, he looked at Arthur, pleading with his eyes not to ask, but really he ought to have known by now that Arthur _never_ left a stone unturned--

"Honestly, I don't even know where to begin with all that. I suppose I had better start with the books on magical maladies. Sit down, Merlin." Arthur pointed to the chair across from him. "How many of these magical books do you have?"

"Just the one spellbook that Gaius gave me," said Merlin, and oh, that wasn't good at all, now, was it? He felt like sobbing but the tugging continued. "He doesn't have any others, but he does have lots and lots of books about magic. How to recognise it. How to deal with it. That sort of thing."

"Is that so."

"Yes, that _is_ so." Merlin glared.

"I will need to speak to Gaius about this," said Arthur, his whole countenance a thundercloud.

Tug. "Arthur --" There was a truth in there, something basic, something bedrock, but how to express it.... "He's my... my father, in all the ways that count." And even though it was said, there was still a tugging, though there was nothing more he could say: the insistent tug of the truth had been satisfied. Maybe it was his heartstrings.

Arthur winced, and gulped. "Merlin, I am the King. It is my duty to investigate the transgressions of my people. There is nothing you can say that will ever not make this my duty."

Merlin felt his throat closing up. He vowed that if this cursed spell continued much longer, he was going to cut off his tongue in despair.

"However, it will keep," said Arthur. "I do recognise that Gaius is no threat to me or to Camelot. Now, on to these secrets." 

Merlin felt the bottom sink out of his world.

"I don't want--" Arthur started, but he paused and took a deep breath. "Well, that's not true. I _do_ want to know, but someone wise once told me that I have allies I do not know of, and people who do things I will never know about, in service to me."

Arthur looked up, gave Merlin a piercing look. "I trust you, Merlin."

_Tug_. "You shouldn't. I'm a sorcerer."

::-------------------::

After the stunned look Arthur gave him, after fleeing rabbit-fast out of the council chambers, after seeking refuge in the farrier's stable and burrowing into the back of a stack of hay to hide, after one ill-advised attempt to bite off his own tongue, crying his eyes out, then plunging deep into the oblivion of sleep for all of five minutes, Merlin jerked awake to a realisation: that that really hadn't been Arthur's stunned look so much as his exasperated-with-Merlin-again look, and that thought caused Merlin to scramble out of the haystack and run, shedding straw and chaff, all the way back to Arthur's chambers. By some miracle, Arthur wasn't there yet, which gave Merlin time to fully engross himself in sweeping out the hearth, polishing every surface to a high gleam, changing Arthur's sheets, airing his blankets, taking the dirty clothing down to the laundress, straightening the writing desk and checking for woodworm in every piece of furniture in the room, including the massive chest at the foot of Arthur's bed. He was in the middle of scrubbing Arthur's floors to within an inch of existence when Arthur walked in. Walked, not stomped. And with no visible means of guardly support.

Merlin froze on his hands and knees, clutching the scrubbing brush. Arthur shot him a perturbed glare, and sat down heavily in the chair behind his desk.

"Are you done behaving like an hysterical girl yet, Merlin? Because if you are, I would very much like to tell you that you are a _complete idiot_ if you didn't think I knew about the magic."

"...What?"

"The magic, Merlin. I already knew about the magic."

Merlin dropped the brush and sat back on his heels, at a complete loss. "Since when?"

"Since Ealdor. Will -- he was a brave man, Merlin. But almost as bad a liar as you are, even when you're not bewitched."

Merlin thought about this for a bit. "Then what secrets did you mean for me to keep?" he asked, puzzled only the merest of moments before the truth blossomed full and fresh in his mind.

Tugtug _tuggity_ tug. "Oh, yeah, I remember. I love you. And I'm in love with you. Have been for ages, really, and it's killing me because I also love the idea of you together with Gwen, and you're going to have my head cut off now, or never look me in the eye again, or something else just as public and humiliating," _tug_ , "and it's probably for the best if I go drown myself in the cesspool or run away right now, though not to Ealdor because I know you like my mother and wouldn't want to do anything to compel her to tell you where I'm hiding, and--"

"MERLIN!"

Merlin stopped, at it was only then that he realised Arthur had come over to him and put his hands on Merlin's shoulders. He stopped speaking, and stared into Arthur's eyes.

"Listen to me, Merlin. Tomorrow, I will issue a decree pardoning all magic users and welcoming magic back into the kingdom. Do not think for one moment that I don't understand the significance of the markings on that round table we found in the ruins. There is a very good reason for magic to be sitting next to the king, and I intend to explore that reason with you at my side." And with that, he leaned forward and planted a firm kiss on Merlin's forehead.

::-------------------::

"So, if you have all this power," said Arthur, a few days later at dinner in his chambers, "d'you think we could use it to shore up our defenses on our borders?"

"What do you mean, like a shield?" asked Merlin, still marveling that Arthur would ever consider using magic to strengthen his kingdom, though that was counterbalanced by both of their concerted efforts to ignore Merlin's other confession.

"Not really, more like a... general deterrent. I don't want trade to be jeopardised. I just want anyone with marauding ideals to think that Camelot's not a good place to pillage."

Merlin reached for the crock of stewed apricots and spooned a small amount onto Arthur's roast duck. "I suppose I could manage something like that. A spell so that only those who mean no harm to Camelot can cross its borders. Others would be turned away. Or maybe I could infuse others with a sense of cooperative purpose. Those who come to our borders looking for war or conquest would cross our borders and find that they wish to shore up our strength or negotiate treaties with us."

Arthur stared at him. "You could do that?"

"Yeah, easy," said Merlin, concentrating on the grapes he was plucking off the bunch and gathering into a bowl. _Tug_. "Well, maybe not so easy. I'd have to tour the entire border to lay the spell down all around. But it's still summer, Arthur. It wouldn't be a hardship, and it shouldn't take more than a month."

"Then gather supplies. We'll leave tomorrow. It's high time I made a tour of the outlying regions, anyway."

Merlin stared at him, mouth agape. "Sire, you can't possibly leave for such a length of ti--"

"Merlin, I am the king. I can do whatever I want."

"You're a royal prat, is what you are," said Merlin, throwing a grape at him, for once not minding the tug that made him say it. Arthur caught the grape in his mouth and grinned.

::-------------------::

The knights and servants traveling in their party had long since fallen asleep, leaving Arthur and Merlin on first watch. The evenings were just beginning to run cool with approaching autumn, so they sat together against a tree with a blanket around their shoulders and one underneath them.

"I think Morgana meant for you to kill me," said Merlin. It had been a week since his release. "I'm worried that Morgana had an attack planned for once you'd killed me."

"Hmm," said Arthur, staring into the fire.

"Arthur, I really don't think you should have left Camelot unprotected."

Arthur tore his eyes away from the flames. "What do you mean, unprotected? I have my best guard still there, at the ready, with Leon in charge. Nothing is going to happen to Camelot that wouldn't happen if I were there, Merlin. Besides, this is important, too. If we ever manage to get this mission accomplished, we will only have the enemies within our borders left."

"Which means, Morgana," said Merlin, exasperated.

"Exactly. It means Morgana, with no way to gather strong allies from other lands," said Arthur. "And Merlin -- you're strong. Stronger than her. I believe that in my very bones. When we're finished here, she will be crippled. You'll take her on, and you will win."

Merlin wasn't so sure about that, but he thought about their destiny, and what it might mean with respect to his strength, and realised that if their destiny were true, if they were bound to unite all Albion and be together, two sides of the same coin, that he had better destroy her before they accomplished that, or there'd be no guarantee of his success.

Merlin found Arthur's hand with his own, and squeezed. _Tug_. "Your faith means everything to me, Arthur."

Arthur stared back at him for a long time, and didn't let go his hand. 

::-------------------::

Kingdoms rise and fall, Kings and Queens are made and unmade. Peace reigns and battles rage, triumphs are secured and tragedies befall even the most fortunate in all these circumstances. So it was that when Morgana finally attacked, in the last of her sanity, that Camelot lost her Queen just as Morgana lost her life.

"I don't know what to say, Arthur," said Merlin, after the hunt for Gwen and finding her, after her tearful explanation that she could no longer stay Camelot's Queen without love of its King to anchor her there, after her insistence that leaving was the best for everyone, and after altogether too many late afternoons sitting silent at the table with Arthur as he stared out the window into the fading gold light, missing Gwen and wondering where she was, what she was doing now. "I didn't know -- I didn't even suspect there could _be_ a spell like that. A spell that linked a life to the bonds of another's love, so that death would break those bonds."

"It's not your fault, Merlin," said Arthur. "If anything, it's mine. It was my order that you destroy Morgana."

"I should have known. Morgana -- she'd turned so cruel -- I should have suspected."

"Merlin, no!" said Arthur, pulling his gaze away from the window and focusing on Merlin. "You couldn't have suspected and if we had it to do again, I wouldn't want that you would suspect such evil. That is mine to guard against, my duty as King."

Arthur reached across the table and took Merlin's hand in his. "Merlin -- you're full of this power, so full that I don't completely understand how it hasn't corrupted you. That you didn't suspect Morgana -- it's a sign that you still have faith in the goodness of people. It's a sign of your unshakeable faith in _me_. There is nothing better, nothing more I could ask for, from this destiny we share."

Merlin reached across the table with his free hand and caught Arthur's other hand. He stroked the tops of Arthur's hands with his thumbs. "Still, there is more that I would give, Arthur. Something that's been yours for a long, long time." He gulped, and then watched Arthur's face flame and his breathing go ragged in the last of the day's waning light.

They rose, never letting go of one another until they toppled together onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Merlin's eyes flared and suddenly they were skin to skin, mouths wrapped around each other. They moved together as one, they shared one heat, they rose together in one passion and spilled together between them.

The new day dawned on them still wrapped together, the light staining them with a rosy blush. Merlin woke to find Arthur staring at him. And staring, and staring.

"What is it, Arthur?"

"We're stuck together," said Arthur, smirking. "I didn't want to pull away, for fear I'd wake you."

"Oh! Let me--" and he looked down, fully expecting the messy remainders of their pledge. But there was nothing.

"You took care of it in your sleep last night, apparently," said Arthur. "As well as keeping us warm. Though, that may not have been magic. Just you."

"Oh," said Merlin, at a loss, feeling all sorts of tugging that had nothing to do with Morgana's defunct truth spell and everything to do with the occupant of Merlin's heart. "Then how are we stuck?"

"I couldn't bear to leave you."

"Must be destiny, then," said Merlin, grinning, staring into Arthur's eyes. 

"It's more than destiny," said Arthur, pressing a kiss into Merlin's forehead. "It's love."

"Never a truer word," Merlin murmured, and kissed the mouth that uttered it.


End file.
